It was the Great Dentist Debacle of 2010. Until now, I have been unable to speak of it. The incident has been weighing heavily on my mind since it happened. I told my closest friends about the incident so they could be supportive and tell me that everything would be okay. I never once thought about blogging about it until my friend Pumpkin Delight encouraged me. So, here it goes...The Great Dentist Debacle of 2010.
We have a great children's dentist. He is a Disney memorabilia collector and going to his office is like going to Disneyland. They have fun flavors of toothpaste, Tinkerbell gives you a toy on your way out, it is the coolest office ever. However, Olivia doesn't like to go to the dentist. She gets nervous in situations where people have to touch her (i.e. the dentist and getting her hair cut). This may have been the downfall, the beginning of the end, if you will, but I warned Olivia a week in advanced that we had a dentist appointment coming up. "5 more days until the dentist. I wonder what color toothbrush they will give you", I said.
"Do I have to talk to the dentist?" she asked me.
"No, you just have to be polite." I answered.
"Do I have to get x-rays?" she worried.
"I'm not sure, but if you do it will be fine." I silently prayed for NO x-rays!
We arrived at the dentist, x-rays heavily weighing on Olivia's mind.
"Don't worry about it," I said,"x-rays are quick and easy."
So, I asked the receptionist if the girls were due for x-rays. "Yep. They sure are!" the innocent receptionist answered.
"NNNNOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" Olivia screamed at the top of her lungs. I promptly dragged her outside and told her to knock it off! X-rays weren't a big deal, this is not how we act, etc. Once she calmed down, we went back inside. She sat on my lap, we watched Toy Story. Things were good.
Until they called our name.
Olivia immediately starts crying. I immediately start sweating.
"Come on over for x-rays Olivia," the lovely hygienist calls.
To which Olivia runs, hides in the corner of the lobby area, her head spins around three times, and she screams (and I mean SCREAMS) at the top of her lungs...wait for it...you are not going to believe this....
"I'M NOT LISTENING TO YOU LADY!!!!!"
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I know. I about died. I was thinking here I am, a teacher, and my kid just screamed at a perfect stranger. Why is this happening? She has NEVER (and I am not just being one of those people who says her kid is never bad. But, she doesn't talk to anyone like that at home, at school, anywhere.)EVER spoken to anyone like that before. So, I grab her and start dragging her, yes, dragging her back to the x-ray room. Here she wants me to stand by her which I can't because of the x-ray machine. Hysterical crying. She sticks her tongue out at the lady when she gets near her. Hysterical crying. She gives the lady the evil eye when she tries to tell her it is just going to take a minute. Hysterical crying. After about 10 minutes of this, (Funny, it seemed like 2 hours) the lady gets frustrated and tells her that she's not going to force her to get xrays, but it will be up to her mom what her punishment will be. Nice, huh? I figured we deserved it, but that wasn't exactly the way I would have gone. Anyway, I get super mad and tell her she is taking the x-rays NOW. She does. When the, literally, 1 minute x-rays are over do you know what Olivia says?
"That wasn't so bad, Mommy."
Umm-hmm.
Then she says,"I think I should say sorry to the lady for acting that way."
Umm-hmmm.
And she does. She quietly says sorry for screaming and that she was just nervous.
By this point, I have arm pit sweat rings to about my knees, my face is flushed with Embarrassment? Regret? Apology? I'm pretty sure we can never show our faces at the dentist again. Oh, it was bad. It was sooo bad.
The rest of the appointment went very smoothly. No drama. No tears.
So, I guess next time I just spring the dentist on her? Sedate her before going? Sedate myself before going?
The heart- breaking part of the story is that Olivia was embarrassed afterwards. She kept saying she didn't know why she acted that way. She also said she didn't know the words that were coming out of her mouth. That made me sad. She just got too worked up and didn't know how to come back. Poor kid. Anyone want to take her back in 6 months?
Thanks for letting me share. Thanks for not judging. I am officially accepting nominations for Mother of the Year.
9 comments:
I love this story so much, even though I know it was not funny at the time. I plan on putting those words in my dentist repotoire and might pull them out at the next appointment.
Oh my Gosh Jlo. I can't even believe it. I don't even know her and I can tell that is completely unlike her.
Doesn't that always happen to us too? We get mad and say and do things we would normally never do?
I am sure the Dentist office will want her to come back though! My Dentist doesn't work on children but he does do Kaish as a favor to me. I am so lucky that for some reason, Kaish has never hated going! PHEW!
I am submitting your nomination for mother of the year! :)
I think this is a fantastic story, and I'm glad you posted it. Even Olivia will find it funny some day!
Great story telling. I'm sorry but I have to admit I laughed reading your tale. I know it wasn't funny and it still bothers you and also Olivia if you try to talk to her about it. You are the only one I can think of that handled it perfectly. I can't think of anyone who would of been as patient. I'm proud of you. I think next time you don't give her a weeks notice. Love you!
My sister is terrified of needles and used to do the exact same thing. If she found out that she had to get a shot or have blood drawn, anything with a needle involved. My mom taught us well. We knew how to be polite, and have a charming level of shyness around adults and authorities. We were dang good kids, but if there were needles, my sister would SCREAM (just as you were describing), even as a teenager, horrible things at my mom and the nurses. She would flail around and get SO SO SOOO angry.
My sister is still irrationally scared of needles, but we can at least laugh at the story now, but the reality of it was horrible and embarrassing for everybody involved, including my sister, who I honestly believe was suffering from some level of momentary insanity brought on by the fear.
I hope this is the only time you ever have to deal with this, you poor thing.
Oh no! I don't know what I would have done.
I hate going to the dentist and I'm...well, old! Mayan loved going, I never understood it, but felt blessed!!
I'll vote for you!! I know it was wrong, but I was laughing as I was reading. Laughing because I have SO been there and will be so many more times.
As teachers, we are judged harshly for our child's behavior...but irrational fears are (funny enough) irrational. If anyone judges you...well they deserve the teacher stink eye.
I believe strongly in bribing...although again it wouldn't really work with those kinds of fears.
For what it's worth I think you handled it the best way possible. Kudos to you...and shame on the dental hygienist...has she never had another kid in her office?
If it makes you feel better, one of my very best friend's daughter gets horrible anxiety going to the doctors. Her mother is a teacher and father works at the hospital. She went in for her Kindergarten shots and they had to get orderlies (father's co-workers) to help pry this girl off the chair. When they went finally dragged her into the room and laid out on top of her she kicked the nurse so hard the nurse fell over.
This little girl is the shyest, most polite little girl you would ever want to meet...sounds a lot like your daughter. The truth of who she is was the person who knew she needed to apologize.
So it could have been worse--it could have been witnessed and judged by your co-workers!
I think a shot (for you at least) would be an excellent idea before next time!
I think you should tell her nothing until you are in the car and NOT going to Chuck E Cheese. But do call ahead to the dentist and tell them to get two chairs ready each with a free flowing line of nitrous oxide. Each of you take a long strong hit and then begin the conversation about x-rays. Just sayin....
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